A BRIEF HISTORY OF INDIA…

as written by a Class – X schoolboy, with all the original spellings.

This guy is a genius!!!
The original inhabitants of ancient India were called Adidases, who lived in
two cities called Hariappa and Mujhe-na-Darao . These cities had the best
drain system in the world and so there was no brain drain from them. Ancient
India was full of myths, which have been handed down from son to father. A
myth is a female moth. A collection of myths is called mythology, which
means stories with female caricatures. One myth says that people in olden
times worshipped monkeys because they were our incestors.

In olden times there were two big families in India. One was called the
Pandava and the other was called the Karova. They fought amongst themselves
in a battle called Mahabharat, after which India came to be known as Mera
Bharat Mahan.

In midevil times India was ruled by the Slave Dienasty. So named because
they all died a nasty death. Then came the Tughlaqs who shifted their
capital from Delhi because of its pollution.

They were followed by the Mowglis. The greatest Mowgli was Akbar because he
extinguished himself on the battlefield of Panipat which is in Hurryana. But
his son Jehangir was peace loving; he married one Hindu wife and kept 300
porcupines.

Then came Shahajahan who had 14 sons. Family planning had not been invented
at that time. He also built the Taj Mahal hotel for his wife who now sleeps
there. The king sent all his sons away to distant parts of India because
they started quarrelling.

Dara Seiko was sent to UP, Shaikh Bhakhtiyar was sent to J & K, while
Orangezip came to Bombay to fight Shivaji. However, after that they changed
its name to Mumbai because Shivaji’s sena did not like it. They also do not
like New Delhi, so they are calling it Door Darshan.

After the Mowglis came Vasco the Gama. He was an exploder who was
circumcising India with a 100 foot clipper.

Then came the British. They brought with them many inventions such as
cricket, tramtarts and steamed railways.

They were followed by the French who brought in French fries, pizzazz and
laundry. But Robert Clive drove them out when he deafened Duplex who was out
membered since the British had the queen on their side. Eventually, the
British came to overrule India because there was too much diversity in our
unity. The British overruled India for a long period. They were great
expotents and impotents. They started expoting salt from India and impoting
cloth.

This was not liked by Mahatma Gandhi who wanted to produce his own salt.
This was called the swedish moment. During this moment, many people burnt
their lion cloths in the street and refused to wear anything else. The
British became very angry at this and stopped the production of Indian
testiles.

In 1920, Mahatma Gandhi was married to one wife. Soon after he became the
father of the nation. In 1942 he started the Quiet India moment, so named
because the British were quietly lootaoing our country.

In 1947, India became free and its people became freely loving. This
increased our population. Its government became a limited mockery, which
means people are allowed to take the law in their own hands with the help of
the police. Our constipation is the best in the world because it says that
no man can be hanged twice for the same crime. It also says you cannot be
put in prison if you have not paid your taxis. Another important thing about
our constipation is that it can be changed. This is not possible with the
British constipation because it is not written on paper.

The Indian Parlemint consists of two houses which are called lower and
higher. This is because one Mr Honest Abe said that two houses divided
against itself cannot withstand.

So Pandit Nehru asked the British for freedom at midnight since the British
were afraid of the dark . At midnight, on August 15, there was a tryst in
Parlemint in which many participated by wearing khaki and hosting the flag.

Recently in India, there have been a large number of scams and a plaque. It
can be dangerous because many people died of plaque in Surat. Scams are all
over India.
One of these was in Bihar where holy cows were not given anything to eat by
their elected leader. The other scam was in Bofor which is a small town in
Switzerland. In this, a lot of Indian money was given to buy a gun which can
shoot a coot.

Presently India has a coalishun government made up of many parties, left,
right and centre. It has started to library the economy. This means that
there is now no need for a licence as the economy will be driven by itself.
India is also trying to become an Asian tiger because its own tigers are
being poached. Another important event this year was the Shark meeting at
Malas Dive. At this place, shark leaders agreed to share their poverty,
pollution and population.”

author image

About Chaitanya Dhareshwar

Chaitanya Dhareshwar, a Technocrat | CIO.

Member of various key technology and management organizations (IETF, ISOC, CSI)
with 14 years of technology management & advisory experience
has transformed companies from "stone age" to "space age". I build high-scale, self-sustaining, self-service platforms. Passionate about technology, innovation and creating killer opportunities that only great tech can bring. I've led teams from 5 - 150 people, and am hands-on with all forms of technology.

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